Weekly Hill Workout: What Where When How

July 7, 2015

The 150% humidity and 80 degree weather was giving everyone mind numbing heat stroke induced amnesia. It was a confusing day where no one was exactly sure where the hill workout was occurring, what road(s) we were on, what town we were running in/to, where the starting point of the hill was, how many repeats were needed to be counted as a workout, or which foot to lead with when starting to run.

Amidst the confusion, everyone at least knew that today was Tuesday, which means today is hill day. The hill crew came in droves, some even drove to the hill. This was a sign that everyone ready for an intense workout, as Mark Detour Fedkin, Adam Exit Ilgen, Michael OneWay Goldfine, Mark DoNotEnter Lee, Tom NoPassingZone Cali, CJ Yield Wagner, Costas WeightLimit10Tons Maranas, Mike DeadEnd Zimmerman, Seth NoUTurns Senior, Mike Stop Martin, Alex SpeedLimit Wouden, Meira NoTurnOnRed Minard, Alfredo ClintonAve Ramirez, Dean ExitOnly Capone, Mike NoParking Casper, and Mike ConstructionZone Renz headed towards one of the tougher workouts: the Sunset Park to Curtin St see saw.

A majoriy of the crew managed 3 sets of the seesaw netting 6 brutally long and steep climbs. And then there was this uninspired leader who broke off from the group after a mere 2 sets. The heat and humidity and unclouded sun beating down on the crew made a difficult workout even harder. Join us next week, as we pinpoint a hill workout with exact gps coordinates so as not to confuse. Summer is halfway over, but the high temps and humidity are just getting started…so be prepared for hills to seem even tougher than usual.

Weekly Hill Workout: Pre-4th Sparklers

June 30, 2015

In what can only be explained as a last minute week-long 4th Fest 4k training program, a gaggle of fledgling hill workouters arrived ready to fly up and down Sparks St, from Westerly Parkway to Holmes-Foster Park. This is a ¼ mi long hill that is 2 tiered with a blind corner, so each time you think you’re done the climb you realize you’re only halfway there! It was no match for even the most hatchling-esque of our hill runners, as each and every nestling made for at least 4 repeats, with a fast descent after the 3rd. The more pin-feathered of the group opted for 5 repeats to help further puff out their chests.

Squad Bland, Cockerel Wilcock, Owlet Lee, Puffling Zimmerman, Flapper Wouden, Squealer Minard, Cheeper Senior, Eaglet Martin, Pullet Maranas, Cygnet Ilgen, Squeaker Lesieutre, Peep Maguire, Gosling Wagner, and Ugly Duckling Renz all attacked the hill with the grace of a subadult turkey vulture. Colt Cali attended the hill but his feathers were not quite hill flight ready and proceeded on for a more normal weekday run. Cockerel Wilcock was well adorned with his tightest of biking pants, either forgetting today was a running day, or just wanting to teach the rest of the birdies about the physics of flight and the importance of aerodynamics.

Flutter in next week as we hunt down and flap up a new hill in search of our best hill climbing performances. Thanks for the huge outing today, hopefully our flock will continue to grow making it easier to hold up traffic for longer periods of time as they admire our dedication to the hill workout.

Weekly Hill Workout: The Hillysburg Address

June 16, 2015

Four Hills and seven workouts ago our hill repeaters brought forth on this Tuesday, a new workout routine, conceived in martyrdom, and dedicated to the proposition that all hills are not created equal.

Now we were engaged in a great semi-civil hill workout, testing whether that our runner, or any runner so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We met on a great battle-field called Four Hills. We dedicated a portion of that hill, as a final resting place! for those who gave their lungs so that this runner nation may strive. It is altogether fitting and proper that we did this.

Mike Zimmerman, Seth Senior, Meira Minard, Alex Wouden, and Mike Renz donned their top hats, black suits and beards and set forth to attack Four Hills. But not just any attack, a precision planned ladder attack. The crew was able to run the 1st hill, go back to base, 1st and 2nd hill, back to base, and then 1st 2nd & 3rd hills where they met the scandal known as OPP FenceGate. Having taken the long way there, they were pressed for time and only had time for 2 other repeats of the gravel access road that joins the Tof! trees Trail to the top of the 3rd hill of Four Hills. So today’s workout was a concoction of 5 repeats of varying length and difficulty – which actually made for a great, and non-repetitive, hill workout. We look forward to Four Hills being completely open for an entire ladder workout!

Join us next Tuesday as we find another hill to leave some sweat, tears, and shoe rubber behind on.

Weekly Hill Workout: It’s Raining Repeats

June 23, 2015

Humidity is rising, barometer’s getting low.
According to our sources, golf path hill’s the place to go.
Cause today for [not] the first time, just about half past noon
For the first time in history, it’s gonna start raining hill repeats

It’s raining hill…repeats….it’s raining hill. Workouts.

The weather girls couldn’t keep these hill repeaters off of the beaten path today as Torrential Cali, Misty Minard, Arid Wouden, Muggy Zimmerman, Showery Senior, Cloudy Wagner, Drizzly Capone, and Rainy Renz set out to attack the Golf Course Bike Path Hill. Some may even argue that this! hill is located near Park Avenue. Google maps claims otherwise. The impressive lightning and thunder, and stinging raindrops the cleaned everyone pores everywhere on their bodies, did not scare these storm troopers away from doing the hill workout. We managed 5 repeats before having to call it quits. A special shoutout to Hazy Martin who warmed up the hill for everyone and did the workout earlier in the day, supposedly achieving as many as 7 repeats. The group decided the humidity was cuasing memory spasms and he most likely only did 3 repeats…but enough for an honorable mention. Still 3 more than everyone else not listed did today.

Marathon season is creeping up on us quickly, kill those late miles with the stored power that the hill workouts undoubtedly create. PR your next 25 races, qualify for the olympics, get 5th in your age group! at a State College 5k…simply by doing hill workouts! (Actual results may vary, please consult a runner before starting any hill workout program.)

Weekly Hill Workout: Fraser St

June 9, 2015

The warm and muggy day couldn’t keep the pack of hill climbing wolves from preying on an “easy” (defined as short but steep) hill.  Andrew Fangtooth Maguire, Michael Timberwolf Zimmerman, Alex Lupus Wouden, Michael Jackal Martin, Dean Rufus Capone, and Michael ChewsFoot Renz set out to tackle a slew of repeats.  Costas Ovis Maranas and Bob Aries Cornwall made it as far as to the base of the hill, but quivered at the sheer magnitude of the incline and sheepishly wandered off in an attempt to stay far from this hill, which has since been nicknamed Lil’ Bo Peep.  Lance Arctic Bland even showed up (albeit late due to an error in map reading skills by the lead wolf) and snagged a few repeats with the group.

This hungry pack of wolves decided that six repeats would fully satisfy their appetite for grueling sprints to the top, so! six they did.  Halfway through the workout it even started to spit some rain….but this did not deter the pack from huffing and puffing and tearing the hill down.  My what strong legs we have…..all the better to run up hills with.  Feel free to insert any other forced pun from a wolf-based nursery rhyme to complete this awful hill report.

We are back in full strength for this summer’s hill workouts.  The heat cannot keep us away.  Tuesdays are the day, so prepare however you need to, and make sure you get out and attack some hills with us.  It is great fun for all, and does wonders for your legs and lungs!